One Cell Phone Or Two?

This month, our cell phone contract is up, and we have been deciding what we’d like to do with it.  Right now, Shawn carries a Blackberry for work, which is not for personal use.  He also carries a personal phone, and the kids and I phone him throughout the day to include him in milestones that are going on at home.  Lily likes to phone him and keep him up to date : “ Daddy, I pee potty!!”.  Daddy always cheers for her like a good sport.  I’m sure every once in a while, someone near him thinks he’s nuts when he proclaims “ Potty!? YAY!!”. Hee hee hee!  I have a cell phone too…it’s around here somewhere…what’s my number? Uh, Hold on, I’m not too sure.  I must have it written down somewhere…

Ok, you get the idea, I never use that phone anyway.  When Shawn’s phone got run over/dropped/smashed one too many times, we swapped the numbers so he got my nice, still-shiny-new three year old phone.

Over the last couple months, we’ve been discussing what we should do with the cell phones.  While in theory, it seems reasonable that I have one, the reality is, I just don’t need one.  I’m at home most of the time.  If I were going to drive somewhere, say to Saskatoon to go shopping ( which never happens anyway!), I could just take his with me for peace of mind. 

We’ve all become so used to having cell phones that we think they are a necessity, but you what?  Most of the time, they aren’t. Ok, some people need them for work, to be reached when on call or during an emergency ( Shawn included) but realistically, not all of us need that phone. 

I don’t even feel obligated to answer my home phone just because it’s ringing.  If I’m reading to the kids, that’s important and they appreciate my full attention.  I don’t feel bad if I am not reachable 24 hours a day.  I have message manager, that’s what it’s for.  On weeks when Shawn is off, our family has a little ceremony where he makes a big production of powering off the phone, and the rest of us do a little dance and cheer.  It’s so nice to be set free from the slavery of having that phone constantly within arm’s reach.  His ring tone sounds like a submarine’s diving warning, and we all cringe when it rings and interrupts family time.  We know that it means either he will be on the phone discussing some problem, or helping someone fix something, or that he will have to go back to work to fix something.

So, besides being a rant about how much I hate the cell phone, this post does have a point!  I’ve been wondering, if I hate the thing so much, why am I paying for it?  Why do we pay for caller ID, the second line or any of those other features we’ve never used anyway?  We’ve decided to keep just one personal phone, because we do value being in contact with Shawn throughout the day.  He doesn’t miss out on the fun stuff going on at home, and the kids like that Daddy is still part of their day, even when he’s away.  We have one for peace of mind when we travel, or when Shawn’s hunting or fishing. We’re putting that phone on a bare basics plan, and saving $40 a month. We’re using the phone we already have, because we don’t want a long contract, and we don’t want to pay for a new one when we don’t need to. 

Getting rid of my phone will help accomplish two of our family goals : 1) simplify life to make room for what really matters; and 2) save money.

I Think I Need Office Hours

Being a stay at home mom, one might think that I have plenty of time to keep up on computer and office stuff, but I always seem to be behind!  I’m considering implementing office hours. 

Some of the many office tasks that I am behind on right now are: loading pictures from my camera to the computer and organizing them, paying bills, working on our budget each month, writing and correspondence for the various committees I volunteer on, writing actual letters to friends and family, looking up craft and activity ideas to do with my kids, researching some potential purchases we’d like to make, and blog posts.  I have a whole sheet of post ideas!  But all of these things require that I can sit down at the computer and focus on the task at hand.  It seems so hard to carve out that time during the day!!

It’s been a crazy busy week with activities around here, and I am behind in many other tasks too!  It’s gotten me thinking…maybe I need to implement office hours?  If I decided a certain time window each week that would work for me, I could have Shawn do special Daddy activities with the kids and set my brain to office stuff.  When people ask me about a good time to call to discuss certain committee things, I could actually have an answer! “ I sit and deal with schedules and office tasks Tuesday nights, why not call me then, and I’ll be able to discuss that with you.”  Or maybe I could chose a time window that works during almost every day, and people could phone me then if they wanted to chat, then I wouldn’t have to feel obligated to answer the phone all day!  I do just let it ring a lot, my thought tends to be “ that’s what I have an answering system for”.  But, if I had office hours, I wouldn’t have to feel as guilty about it!

What would I do with my office hours?  Type a lot, I think.  Research ideas too.  It would ease my feelings of being so far behind!  Instead of that email that requires a reply nagging at me, I would be able to know that I plan on answering it next “office hours”.  Maybe I wouldn’t be so distracted during the day!    Having set hours would keep me from being distracted while I am doing things with the kids, thinking about what all I need to get done.  The computer in the kitchen makes it so tempting to “just quickly check email”, or “just take a sec to write this note”.  Still thinking about taking the computer out of the kitchen.

Hmmm, maybe I do need office hours.  Right now, as I try to make the time to write this post, my family has gotten sick of waiting for me and have started eating dinner without me.

Maybe I should close up Mama’s Office and sign off…

Regret Free Parenting: a Book Review

Since I have heard many good things about this book from a friend of mine, I was really looking forward to reading it.  I agreed to review it for Booksneeze in return for a free copy of the book.  

Isn’t that what we all want?  To raise our children without regrets?  Catherine Hickem encourages mothers that regret free doesn’t mean mistake free, and that every mother, even those without a Godly example to emulate, can raise great kids.  The author discusses so many issues that it’s definitely a packed, thought provoking read!    She talks about how valuable the role of motherhood is to every child, and encourages moms to recognize how much they need God’s help in this journey.  She empowers moms to be intentional about how they are raising their kids, to be a confident mom to the specific, unique children God has given you.    

One of the topics that I enjoyed most was knowing and affirming your child.  She encourages moms to really study their children, to have a deep knowledge of how God made them, and how they feel encouraged, pouring ourselves and our love into them throughout all stages of their lives.  She discusses all the stages of childhood, and how we can enjoy our children and love them unconditionally, even during those years that many parents are intimidated by, the teens.  This is a great book, full of sound advice and many reflection questions at the end of each chapter, designed to really get you thinking.  I enjoyed the scripture quotes sprinkled through out the book.

While over all, I really enjoyed this book, I do wish the author had covered more practical steps for putting her principles into practice.  

Hooray for Tax Season!

I have to confess, I LOVE tax season.  Now, I know I am a nerd, but it most likely has to do with the fact that I get a refund every year…  I sure didn’t like it as much the one year I had to pay a huge sum while home on maternity leave! 

Now, I know they say you should file the deductions form at your work place to adjust what they keep back from your pay.  The goal really should be to have a refund or payment within $50.  I have tried, believe me!  But one of the reasons we get a refund every year is because we donate to our church .  Because this is a donation deduction, the forms would have to be resubmitted every year, special approved by the CRA and by the time the necessary permission had been given to Shawn’s employer, it would be time to start the process for the next tax year.  I looked into it, trust me, remember, I said I’m a nerd!  You also have to show that you have done this several years in a row ( with previous tax forms) and that you are on track to do it again this tax year ( with cheque copies or pre-authorized debit receipts) for the first 6 months of the current tax year.  We could do it, but as I said, it turns out to be a bit more of a pain in the butt!

So! Every year, we have a nice refund to look forward to.  I know it shouldn’t be our enforced savings or payments plan.  Each refund we get, we sigh wistfully and say something along the lines of “ Wouldn’t it be nice if we could do something FUN with this, instead of paying for ( insert new bill or debt payment here)?” or “ Wouldn’t it be great if we could invest this in something?”.  And I know if that I actually did file the forms for the deductions, I would have that money in smaller instalments throughout the year.  I could put that amount on debt, and save interest.  I could invest that money and earn interest.  Hopefully, within a few years, we will be in that place!

In the meantime, I still love tax season.  I get all the papers ready, wait for any that are still outstanding and enter everything into a tax program ( I use TurboTax).  The program makes it quick and easy, even if you have small business expenses ( I used it the years I had a home business too).  I am perfectly capable of doing the math with the forms and a calculator, but I don’t mind paying the $40 or so to have the program do all the thinking for me.

This year, our refund will go a couple of places.  One, we still donate a portion to our church.  A friend of mine gave us the idea to donate it to specific “fun” causes instead of the general fund, where we would donate our regular amounts.  It feels great to contribute specifically to a cause or drive that we care about.

Second, some of it will go to fill in a (relatively tiny) hole that has come up in our finances over the past few weeks. I know, I wish none of it had to go to that!  But, at least the tiny hole won’t become a gaping one and keep us down for a couple months either.

Then, third, all the rest is going on our credit card, and I will reduce the limit! YAY!! This is the most exciting one for me.  I am so excited to get out from that high interest! Let’s be honest, it’s not fun paying the price now for things we wasted money on ages ago.  And let that be a lesson to me, not to do it again!!! 

Ahhh, I am so glad to have submitted the taxes today!! Now I can look forward to seeing that nice deposit arrive in my bank account!!!

Shower Stall Balloon Pit

Sometimes, I have to work really hard to come up with enough neat things to entertain my kids during these long stuck-in-the-house winter days.  And, then sometimes, they invent the funniest things themselves!

Last week, my kids took all the balloons that had been blown up and were still bouncing around the play room and piled them all in the shower stall.  They invented their own “balloon pit” and jumped around in there, squealing with delight!  I couldn’t resist snapping a picture!

Kids’ Chores

I’ve been thinking lately about kids and chores.  I think we’re going to switch to an allowance system where they earn their money by doing their chores, rigged a bit, so they end up with the same amount we think they should have.

While I have a few things I already get them to help me with, they aren’t done on a regular basis.  I get the kids to help with whatever I am doing.  If I am cleaning the living room, then I hand them things to put away.  If I am folding Laundry, I give them their clothes to put away.  When we are setting the table, I hand them some of the dishes, etc.  If they aren’t around, or I’m in a hurry, I often just do it myself.

I’d like to move to a system where they are responsible for doing their chores, and knowing when it needs to be done.  I think I’ll have a check mark chart for keeping track of when they do their jobs, and pay them once a week by transfer into their bank account.  Some chores will be mandatory and unpaid, because you are part of our family and everyone helps.  Others will be expected on a regular basis and we’ll still expect them to be done most of the time. Some will be for when they want to earn extra if they choose to.

So… I am trying to come up with some age appropriate chores for each kiddo.  Things they can reasonably do.  Then I’m going to try an figure out which will be mandatory, regular and optional.

Here are a few of the things that my kids often help with…feeding the dog, emptying small garbage cans, spraying and wiping the bathroom counter and sink area, using the scrub brush and wiping the toilet, pairing up socks, spraying and wiping windows, sorting laundry, folding pieces of laundry that they can manage, setting or clearing the table, putting away their clothes, tidying up toys and books, putting away things like boots, shoes and mitts in the porch, rinsing and stacking the dishes that mom washes.  I’ve had them help me with things like wiping walls or wiping down the leather couches too.  Ok, lots of these things they don’t do to perfection, but they do a pretty good job, and  then I check and help. 

Ok, that list seems longer than I thought it would, but again, these aren’t things they do on a regular basis, just things I have asked them to do at one time or another in the past.  Often their involvement isn’t as much of a help as it is an opportunity for them to learn and try.  But I think it’s important for kids to help out, and learn how to do these things.  I’m not asking them for perfection.  At my house, all the blankets on the bed, and the pillow near the top counts as making your bed.

Even Lily at two likes to help with things, and will gladly take a turn with a dusting cloth.  She carries her own diaper to the garbage and loves to rinse dishes.  Now obviously there aren’t going to be many age appropriate chores for a two year old!  But what about Baden at 7 and Colleena at 5? 

What are some chores you’ve assigned your kids?  Are there tasks that you break down and give out in parts?  How do you manage the chores at your house?

Cost Break-Down: Homemade Bread Version 2

I lost the paddle for my bread maker about a month ago, and have finally conceded the fact that it is not going to be found.  I’ve been missing it, since I actually use it a lot, and my family has been missing the yummy homemade bread.  I did look, but a replacement paddle is $30 plus shipping.  I think I’ll wait and see if I can find a bread maker during garage sale season.

In the meantime, I set out to find a bread recipe that we could use as an everyday white bread.  I found one called Everyday Amish White Bread that I wanted to try. One morning, I asked Colleena “ would you like to bake bread today?” She answered “ In the bread maker? We found the paddle?!”  “No, I said, by hand, the old fashioned way.”  A big smile on her face, she said “ Like little house on the prairie?” Then she hollered to Shawn" “ DAD!!! WE’RE MAKING PRAIRIE HOUSE BREAD!!!”.  And, so, that is how this recipe came to be named Prairie House Bread…


2 cups warm water (110 degrees F)
2/3 cup white sugar
1 1/2 TBsp active dry yeast
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup oil
6 cups flour


Dissolve sugar in warm water in a large bowl, then stir in yeast.  Allow to proof until yeast resembles a creamy foam.
Mix salt and oil into yeast.  Mix in one cup of flour at a time.  Knead dough on a lightly floured surface until smooth.  Place in well oiled bowl, and turn to coat.  Cover with a damp cloth and let rise until doubled ( about 1 hour).
Punch dough down, knead for a minute.  Divide in half.  Shape into loaves, and place into two well oiled 9X5 loaf pans.  Allow to rise at least 30 minutes, or until dough has risen an inch above pans.
Bake for 30 minutes in 350 degree oven.

These loaves are sweet and fluffy.  They have the same lightness and texture as store bought white, but taste way better! Works well for sandwiches and toast, or with a meal. They brown beautifully and don’t stick to the pans at all!

Sooooooo….. wanna know what it costs?

Water…um, free?  Sugar 16 cents, yeast 54 cents, salt 1 cent, oil 15 cents, flour 40 cents.  That’s a grand total of $1.26 for two loaves, or $0.63 each. YUMMY!!!!!





I made a double batch, and Baden could smell it the moment he got in the door from school.  He took a deep breath and proclaimed “ THAT is the best smell EVER!!!”.  Hee hee, Shawn agreed when he got home.  They don’t last too long since we all want to snack on them!  I think next time I’m going to shape some into buns too.

Beating the Budget Busters: Planning Birthday #2

Okay, I know I haven’t been writing a lot lately, but I’ve been so busy

that I haven’t had time!  I hoping to catch up and let you know what we’ve been up to.

Coming up right away here, is Colleena’s birthday party.  She wants to have a Hawaiian theme this year.  This is how we plan most parties, by asking our kids what theme they think would be fun, and building on that.  Then, I think about what games, decorations and cake ideas would go well with that theme. 

I browsed around on the internet to find some neat game ideas, but didn’t really find anything super extraordinary, so we decided to plan a few traditional games and add a Hawaiian twist to them.  We’re going to play musical beach towels, instead of musical chairs.  I have lots of beach towels, and will just use them, still folded, on the floor.  Then, we’re also planning on doing the limbo.  We’ll have silly freeze hula dancing, while the kids are wearing grass skirts.  Three games will most likely be enough to occupy this gaggle of 5 year olds for a good chunk of time.  If not, maybe we’ll break out the Wii-fit and do the Hula-Hoop challenge on the Wii Fit board hee hee!  We’ll also be doing piñatas!

The time window we used for Baden’s party worked out great, so we’re doing the same thing for this party.  I invited guests from 3 until 5, so we don’t have to plan a meal.  Plus, it means that my youngest will still get her nap before anyone gets here, and that way she won’t be a tired, crying mess during the party.

Having the kids birthdays so close together has some benefits.  Mainly, that I am able to buy some supplies in bulk and save money by dividing them over the two parties.  When I was stocking up for Baden’s party, I bought lots of individually wrapped candies in bulk.  Things that could go in the piñata, like pixie sticks, fizz strips, ring pops and suckers.  I divided them up and stashed half for Colleena’s party, so I didn’t have to buy them this month.  I also bought those little rubber bracelets that come in different shapes and are so cool right now. I got a container of 200 of them for $2 at Dollarama. I set aside all the “girly” colors and the shapes that went well with Colleena’s theme (fish, sea horse, palm tree etc).  The rest, we used at Baden’s party last month.

Baden’s entire party cost me about $60, but some of that amount was candy, which I spread over two parties.  I bought a  flower lei to greet each guest with, grass skirts to give out and a couple of little gimicky toys at Dollarama for Colleena’s party.  That all added up to about $30.  Even if you add it up and average it out, it only cost us $50 per party.

I’m planning on making the cake a pair of flip flops this year.  Making the two cakes myself will only cost me a couple dollars, and it is always my favourite part of the birthday season, I just love baking fun cakes!

Just last night, Shawn and I were reflecting on birthday season this year.  Baden’s party seemed the most complicated one that we have done, having all the different carnival games set up, but it was easy and no-stress to plan. It was tons of fun to do, for us and the kids.  Colleena’s is almost effortless, since so much of the buying is already done, and the games will be easy to set up and need no real equipment.  Even the prep has been fun.  We made the piñatas with the kids, who had a great time making, painting and stuffing them.  And this year, both cakes were easy to plan and execute.  This is the least amount of time and stress I have put in pre-party, and the most fun we’ve ever had!

Ahhhhh… simple is good!

Nifty Thrifty Gifty: Wall Art

This is the project I’ve been working on for my sister, since she got to open it today, now I can share it with you!

I heard about this idea from a friend of mine, and tweaked it a bit to add my own style to it. 



First, I asked around and got some old sheet music ( from the same friend, hee hee!)

I  ripped out enough pages to generously cover the canvas I had. Some I left as whole sheets, and some I ripped in pieces to create a neat effect.




Then the girls helped me age the paper with tea.  They had lots of fun with this step!  If you’ve never done this before: just soak a tea bag in hot water for a few minutes, then without wringing it out too much, wipe, dap and spread it all over the paper.  Add layers until you are happy with the color and let paper dry. I was impatient, so I dried mine with the hair dryer.



Next, I modge-podged the papers to the canvas.  Lily, my little helper also generously applied it all over the table…
I layered them at different angles, leaving the torn edges showing, until I was happy with the look.  Then I covered the whole thing with a thick layer of modge-podge to seal it.



Next, I enlisted Shawn to help me make the music note.  I had tried looking for something in the scrapbooking stuff, but didn’t find anything I felt suited it. Shawn had this great copper wire, which he bent into shape for me, leaving two pegs that we punched right through the canvas. On the back of the canvas, he put a dab of hot glue on each peg to hold it in place.  Then, he attached a string so it could be hung on the wall. 


And, Voila! Wall art.  Baden did help with this project too, helping to position and glue the music note, but somehow he didn’t end up in any of the pictures!

Obviously, I did this in a music theme, but you could do it in any theme that would suit you.  My friend who made the original one did a bird theme for a friend of ours.  She used pages from an old bird watching book, and used a scrapbooking embellishment of a bird as the decoration.  I was thinking it would be nice in a wine making theme too, with a copper wine bottle…  Also, since the sheet music I used was all hymns, I was also imagining a cross as the embellishment would be nice.  Really, I think you could use any theme you came up with!

Help! I think I’m addicted to FaceBook…

Why is FaceBook so addicting?  It’s something I have been reflecting on lately.  What I am seeing is that, for me, it’s because it creates the illusion of relationship. 

I have great, real friendships with lots of the people on my “friend” list.  But, a large portion of my list is made up of old school chums, people I know loosely through some contact, the parents of my kids’ friends, distant relatives etc.  Nothing wrong with keeping in touch with those people!  FaceBook can be a great tool for communicating.

In my busy life, sometimes it really is the best way to communicate with large groups of people, vent about my day, or share pictures and news with the grandparents.  I can ask for advice, I can check in with a friend, I can throw a question out there, and get neat responses.  If someone starts crying ( me or the kids, lol) I can stop typing where I am, and come back to a message or conversation.  On the phone, it’s harder to stop and start conversations at times that are convenient for me, or for the other person.  It’s helped to co-ordinate schedules, make plans, and organize parties.

What I am seeing is that while FaceBook is a great tool, I have become too dependant on it.  It allows me to feel like I am genuinely connecting with my friends, when often, I am not.  I like reading everyone’s statuses, feeling like I know what’s going on in their lives.  I enjoy reading what people post back.  But am I really investing in their lives?  In our friendship? 

I am very guilty of neglecting the friends I have who are not on facebook.  Partly, I envy them a bit, because they never got into the habit of facebook in the first place, and partly I wonder how they stay connected without it in this day and age.  When talking with several of my FBF ( facebook free) friends, I have also noticed that sometimes they feel left out.  FBA (facebook addicts) like me often forget to phone and invite them to things because “I posted the invite over facebook”, or “everyone set the time on facebook” etc.

I like posting interesting or funny things that happen during my day.  I suspect that this too has gone too far.  When something funny happens around the house, one of my kids will say “ Mom, you should so put this on facebook!”.

Our Bible study group has been reading a book called “A Celebration of Discipline”, and the chapter last week was on “simplicity”.  This week is “solitude”.  These chapters have convicted me so much!  I am loving how much this book is challenging me to grow.  I bring it up here, because in the chapter on simplicity, the author lists 10 things to think about.  One of them is to remove things that you are becoming addicted to or dependant on.  These are things that are taking away from your relationship with God.  I have to admit, for me, facebook falls into that category.  If I was sitting praying or reading my Bible, and I heard that little message bing sound, I would get up to see who was trying to talk to me.  I wouldn’t get up to answer the phone, but… And I realized that in the past, I have probably invested more time sitting on facebook than reading the Bible on many days. 

In the chapter on solitude, the author talks about how we need to have both solitude and social times in our life.  We can’t be good to people without having some solitude times, and we can’t enjoy solitude if we don’t have enough social times.  Am I leaving enough solitude time in my life?  Facebook allows me to feel constantly a part of a social group, never really alone.  I often feel antsy if I haven’t checked in for a while, and I have to consciously decide that I won’t check as I walk by the computer. 

Ouch.  Yep, I’m addicted to facebook.  I have mentioned before that I gave up facebook last year for lent.  It allowed me so much more free time, which I spent in better ways.  I did feel left out of conversations and events some times, but on the whole, it was really good.  I definitely felt withdrawal!

While I don’t want it to become a default that every lent I will give up facebook, I am considering it again this year.  Last year, it reset my use for a long time, but I have slowly crept it up again.  I want to be a better friend.  To have a real connection to those in my life.  I don’t want to settle for the illusion of a real friendship.  Over the last few weeks, I have been consciously trying to be more intentional about connecting with those in my life.  I have been purposefully spending less time on the computer.  I wrote some long overdue letters.  I went for coffee with a friend.  I have turned the TV off more, and have enjoyed the quiet and calmness that brings to my house. I have been reading great books, studying my Bible and praying more. I am weaning myself off of the dependence on facebook as my main communication tool.

Will I go FBF cold turkey for lent?  I haven’t decided yet.  But one of my good friends is giving it up this week, maybe I’ll go see her for coffee… 

“Free Stuff” E-mails

When I started seriously looking at what things I could find out there for free, I signed up for a couple of e-mail services that promise to send you leads on great free stuff.

After a couple months of daily deleting these e-mails from my inbox, I unsubscribed this week.  The one I did like was from PG&E, and the first time I was there to sign up, I got to choose a pack of products to sample.  It included things like mouth wash, a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, tooth whitening gel, etc.  I really like some of the products, and it came with great coupons. 

I signed up to get a sample of three different BIC pens.  They never came.

I signed up to get offers of free products from LivingWell, but all I am getting is junk “information” mailings, and offers of coupons.

Then I signed up for “free parent stuff” and “free stuff”, and I have to say, that personally, I found them useless.

Maybe there are better ones out there? Do any of you have some that you love?  Oh well, it was worth a try!  For now, I have unsubscribed from these particular ones, let me know if you discover one that is interesting!

Homemade Glass Defogger

Defogger, is that even a word?  Anyway, I ran across a neat tip when I was looking for something to prevent the condensation from building up on our front storm door.  Fun as it is for the kids to write their names in it, I was looking for a way to keep it from getting all fogged up.

After cleaning the glass, put a small glob of conditioner on a cloth and buff it into your windows ( or mirrors too!).  Rub in circles, buffing in until it’s all cleared and shiny clean.  The thin layer of conditioner left makes a barrier against the glass, which keeps fog from staying!

We always seem to run of shampoo faster than conditioner since not everyone in our house uses both, so this was a neat way to use up some of the extra.  It works with baby body wash too!

I Hate Mistakes!

Blame it on my “only child” personality, but I am hard on myself when it comes to mistakes.  I don’t like ‘em!  I want to avoid ‘em.  I have been learning to be easier on myself and admit that it’s ok to make mistakes.  I’m learning it’s ok to laugh at myself sometimes, and that I don’t always have to do things perfectly.  Sometimes (gasp) I aim at 80%, instead of expecting perfection.

Ok, I am being light hearted about it, but it is a struggle for me.  Some areas are easier than others to accept, though.  I don’t care if I miss patches when I cut the lawn.  I don’t care if my van isn’t clean ( good thing too, if you could see it!)  I don’t expect my hair or make up to be perfect.  But, for me, doing the “right thing” is very important. 

I have been learning, that sometimes, I just need to admit that I have been doing something wrong, correct course from where I am, and move on.  I have to stop beating myself up, because, hey! I’m only human.  There are some areas, though, where that is harder.

Parenting, for one.  Oh, it’s EASY for me to admit where I have done, or am currently doing stuff wrong.  But it’s not always easy to see where I should go from that point on.  It’s hard to see what is the best course sometimes, and this is one thing I want to do well.  I am trying to take Dr. Kevin Lehman’s advice and stop aiming for being a perfect parent and be a “good enough” parent.  I make lots of mistakes, and I am able to admit that, even to my kids, and ask for forgiveness when I’ve done wrong. ( He has lots of great books on all kinds of topics by the way)

Money is another one of these areas for me.  I want to do this right.  I want to to stop making the mistakes we have made in the past.  The right road is a bit clearer on this one : stop over spending, plan better and save.  Easier said than done, but I know what I am SUPPOSED to do!  Admitting this one, however, is harder.  It’s hard on my pride to admit I can’t afford some things.  It’s hard to tell my kids about the mistakes we’ve made with money, but important.  It just makes me feel so stupid to look back and see how many BIG mistakes we made, and if I had a time machine, I would slap my 19 year old self on the head!!

Why do money mistakes make us feel so stupid?  Lots of people I talk to say they hate discussing options at a bank,or with a financial planner, that handling money makes us feel inadequate and stupid.  Why does this area, more than so many others, hold such power to influence how we feel about ourselves as a person?

Unplugged!

Lately, I have started feeling overwhelmed by the amount of electronics in my life.  The amount of time we as a family spend watching TV, using the computer, and playing video games seems to build until it reaches a threshold where it’s officially too much.

My kids turn on the TV when they get up, and watch as they get ready for the day.  Then, its on most of the day, even when no one is watching it.  If we get busy playing something, the sounds of one show or another seems to draw them into to “seeing what’s on”.  My now 2 year old will bring us the “mote” and say “ tee-lee?”.

Everyone at our house enjoys video games. Most often, when I declare it time to turn of the TV, I hear, “Can I play DS or Wii instead?”.  With an entire house full of toys, its mind boggling to me that those are always chosen first.

I’m not innocent either!  I leave my computer on 24 hours a day, usually with the internet on, and Facebook going.  If I am busy playing with the kids, I am often suckered in by those little red notices that someone has posted something, or sent me a message.  Instead of a useful tool, Facebook often feels like an addiction!  I feel weird if the computer is totally off.

Last year, for Lent, I gave up TV and Facebook.  I learned some interesting things.  first, the withdrawal symptoms go away after a bit.  Secondly, I learned just how dependant I’d become.  As a busy mom, it is often fastest and most convenient to stay in touch with my friends over Facebook.  But, it can become pretty superficial instead of a true friendship pretty quickly.  I realized that I come to rely on it as my main and almost only source of communicating with friends.  I don’t make an effort to call friends, or touch base with them, or make coffee dates as well if they are not on Facebook.  I definitely felt cut off from what was going on with most of my friends when I gave up Facebook!  I felt isolated at home with the kids when I didn’t chat with anyone on the computer off and on throughout the day.   Third, I realized how much of my time I had been wasting.

Going TV-free showed me a few things too.  Mostly, just how much time we are wasting as a family.  I also noticed how many opportunities we were missing out on, like enjoying crafts, reading or other activities instead.  I really doubt that at the end of my life I will wish I had watched just one more episode of some show!

Certain parts of the year are worse for this than others at our home.  We definitely spend more time plugged into things in the winter when it’s often too cold to enjoy outdoor things.  Our family really loves being outdoors, so once spring arrives with it’s nicer weather, we all enjoy going out instead.  During the summer months, we play in our yard a lot, and enjoy local parks and lakes.

Starting last fall, when I felt so sick because of this pregnancy, our TV time started to creep up again.  I knew it wouldn’t help down the road, but honestly, I just did what I needed to do to cope with being sick while entertaining an 18 month old.  Most times in my life, I have enjoyed the feeling of just being in my home, or anywhere, with no background noises.   While I thoroughly enjoy music, I have been very comfortable in silence.  Now I find that I feel anxious without the TV, or music, going in the background.  I feel antsy in the quiet, and even if I want to read a book, I often have the TV on at the same time.  It’s like an addiction!

I have officially come to the point where I am sick of this.  I hate when the kids stop paying attention to a conversation because they are drifting to the TV.  I hate that I feel weird if the house is quiet, if we are playing without music on, or if the computer is not powered up.  There is nothing innately wrong with the TV, the computer or the video games, but it’s time to re-focus my family’s time.

I’m thinking of giving up or strictly cutting down on our electronics time as lent approaches, to make more time for the things our family finds important, like devotional time, family and friends, reading, playing and crafts.  I have determined to be more intentional about being a friend, and I want to catch up on my letter writing.  My God, my family and my friends deserve my un-distracted attention!

Saving Money Takes Time!

Lately, I have been feeling so sick of thinking about money.  It takes so much time to make all these changes in our life.  Some days, I feel like it’s all I have been thinking about “ how can we do this or that cheaper”," “ How are we going to pay for that”, and “ We just can’t afford that” seem to be taking up a lot of my mental space.

I know that since we are just starting this journey, this is a time where there is a lot to do.  Calling the credit card companies was a smart thing to do, but it used up my time.  Making different appointments, searching for cheaper deals and re-planning some things are necessary,

and I am glad we are doing this, but these all take time too.

I enjoy making the things we’ve been giving as gifts, and the use of my time is definitely a benefit to my family.  Again, more time thinking about how to make or do something inexpensively.

A lot of these things, once done, won’t need my focus again for a long time.  However, I think that my time will still be in demand.  Shopping around for deals on things we need will be a focus for a long time yet. 

While we are making steady progress in this journey, it has been slow.  As I said to my husband, I wonder when we will get to a point that it is not such a constant focus.  Daily, it feels, there is some financial pressure, plan or thing we need to discuss.

I don’t want to get bogged down, or discouraged, though.  While I would love for changes to happen quickly, I knew that wasn’t realistic.  It took us many years to get here, so it will probably take us a few to get out of it too.  It was encouraging to me to read about others who decided to stop being in debt and live without credit.  I love the TLC show 19 Kids and Counting.  I was reading the other day about the Duggar’s financial journey, and how, once they decided to get out of debt, it took them seven years.  I’ve only been doing this for 7 months! I’m going to pray about my discouragement, and focus on the progress that we have made, and choose thankfulness instead.  I know that thinking about our finances differently than we did in the past will be a life long change that is worth making.  I will teach my children, and they too will reap benefits many times over. 

I think, we are about to reach a plateau, where a lot of the big changes are made, and then it will be a time of simply continuing to do the right things.  I am looking forward to focusing more on simply enjoying my kids, playing with them without my mind wandering to my financial to-do list.  I want to apply my brain to other family and faith matters.

When I started blogging, I wanted it to be about Faith, Family and Finances, not just finances. As our frantic pace stage evolves into more of a steady payments stage, I hope to have more blogs on the Faith and Family aspects too!  If you’ve been on this road too, I’d love to hear your story!