I haven’t blogged in a long time. I couldn’t find a way to fit it into the packed schedule our family has had this year, but suddenly I find myself with a lot of time…
Because I broke my foot!
I fell going down some stairs. After I got over my first feelings of embarrassment and hope that no one saw me, I knew right away that the crack I heard was indeed some bone in my foot. I was getting my daughter dressed for her dance recital at the time, so I got her off to the staging area and sat down. I knew shock would carry me for a few minutes. God’s timing is great! My other daughter asked to go to the bathroom, and my mom brought her out into the lobby. I was able to send a message to Shawn that I had fallen and broken my foot.
I tried not to draw attention to myself, but that was hard to do and eventually I had a whole group of people rushing to help me. The building staff got a wheelchair and the dance studio staff got me ice packs. I was so thankful there was a side door and I did not have to be carried out through the lobby! We were out of the building just as shock wore off. My mom took the kids home and Shawn took me to Emergency.
So now, I am all casted up and taking up residence on my couch. Other than the physical pain, and embarrassment, the worst part is mourning the summer plans I will not see come true anymore. I had imagined a whole summer of playing in the local pool with my kids and endless playground days. It’s my right foot that is broken, so I can’t even drive them to these places. I can’t lift my baby, and I definitely can’t walk around with him on my shoulder. We are still going to attempt our planned camping trip, since my parents will be there and help us supervise kids.
I have known for a long time that I tend to feel too much of my value from productivity. God has been teaching me to let go of that. Certain times during my pregnancies I would be too tired to do much and I would really struggle with it. I have often said “ I wish I knew how to ignore what needs to get done and just relax and play with the kids more often.” Well, Shawn so lovingly pointed out… now I get that chance! God has put me in a place where I must let go of control, and where I cannot feel proud of all that I can get done. I cannot be a super mom, managing laundry, cooking,cleaning,teaching and playing with ease. Right now, it’s hard to manage to get myself into the bathroom!!
I have a great group of friends, and I know that in the weeks ( months?) to come, I will have to ask for a lot of help. I tend to struggle with this too. About a year ago, a friend of mine broke her foot. I remember thinking at the time that I was glad that was not me, as I would never want to ask for help like she did. Guess who the first person I phoned was? Haha!! Her tip? Keep a stroller in the house so you can put the baby in it and hop around if you need to, and accept all offers of help!!
My mom cleaned my house before she left, and I had just bought two weeks worth of groceries. Friends are bringing meals all this week, so I am set for a bit. I have an appointment with the orthopaedic surgeon next week, and then I will likely be fit with a “boot” cast and know more about how long I will need it. I’m warned that the very best case is 6, probably 10 weeks. I tend to be a slow healer, so I am not going to set my hopes on the speedy recovery and risk being disappointed.
Until then, my kids are enjoying coloring on my bulky knee to toes fiberglass cast while I get used to accepting help instead of offering it. I’m going to have to slow down and just sit more. And, I’m going to have to let Shawn pack for camping!!!